Bent, not broken: An autoethnographic exploraiton of male sexual dys/funciton and shame

Through personal memory, reflection, and theoretical analysis, I explore what my experiences with sexual dys/function says about masculinity and how affective responses to sexual dys/function can be shaped by gendered standards. My aim is to portray vulnerable, real experience with sexual dys/function to both shine light on the struggles of sexual dys/function and how gendered expectations can cause feelings of shame. In doing so, my hope is that men (and others) who have experiences of sexual dys/function can reimagine their relationships to their bodies, sexuality, and gender in a positive way. The ability to challenge hegemonic masculine standards will be a critical step in reimagining the male body. Furthermore, turning inward towards shame that is produced by the failure to reach gendered and ablebodied norms has the potential to form a political consciousness of disability, masculinity, and sexuality.